Somewhere Only We Know
by HouseHaddock
Summary: Blaine Anderson finds Kurt Hummel after many years apart. Things aren't the same, but Blaine's feelings still are. Warning: Mature themes. Extreme Angst. Major Character Death.
1. Why Don't We Go

**Author's Note: Okay, so, I'm going to forewarn you now that this is in no way a fluff story. I cried as I wrote it. It was very hard for me to write, but I knew I had to end it the way I did, though I did have an alternate ending. If I get enough reviews asking to read the alternative ending, I will write it and post it. **

**WARNING: CHARACTER DEATH.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.**

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><p>Blaine Anderson hasn't seen Kurt Hummel in years, a fact that he hates with all his heart. It had been seven years since they graduated High School, together and in love. But the stress of college and of life apart got to them, and they had broken it off midway through their sophomore years.<p>

And now, he couldn't believe what he was seeing. He was in New York for work, and there he was, Kurt Hummel in the flesh, walking down the street outside the building he sat in. But it wasn't Kurt… his face shallow, his eyes dead. That wasn't the Kurt he knew.

He was about to get up and go see him was he was called into his meeting. With a sigh, he went to it.

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><p>It was a few days later that he saw him again. They passed each other on the street, Kurt's eyes still gone. He didn't notice Blaine as he passed him. Blaine wanted nothing more than to reach out and grab him.<p>

He went to turn and call out to him, but Kurt was already lost in the crowd.

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><p>The next time was a week later. Blaine walked into a Starbucks and saw Kurt sitting in the corner, staring out the window, his drink held tightly between his hands. He looked so broken.<p>

Blaine forgot about his coffee, deciding to take the opportunity at hand. He walked over to Kurt and froze. The boy didn't look up. It was like he was a ghost. Blaine didn't know what to do; he didn't know what to say.

"Kurt?" he asked softly, the name coming out of his lips as a question. That was when Kurt looked up. His expression didn't change. He didn't smile. He didn't frown. Blaine wished he would do something, anything. Even a glare would be better than nothing.

Kurt just stood and walked past him. Blaine turned and watched him, wanting to stop him, but he couldn't move his feet. He watched him walk to the door and right before he walked out, Kurt turned and looked at Blaine. Blaine could swear he saw tears in those once beautiful eyes.

Blaine felt his heart breaking.

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><p>He was determined to see Kurt before he had to leave the city. He needed to see him and speak to him.<p>

Blaine had gone to that same Starbucks several days in a row, waiting and praying that Kurt would come in, but he never did. He had to be avoiding it.

But then, Blaine got lucky. He sat in the corner just waiting. That's when Kurt walked in, not noticing Blaine. Blaine silently got up and walked towards his ex boyfriend, placing his hand on the back of his shoulder lightly.

Kurt jumped at the touch and turned to look at him. His eyes were slightly wide and he looked away quickly.

"Kurt…" he said softly, moving so he could look at his face. Kurt's eyes were shut tightly, as if he could open them and everything would be gone. "Kurt, please."

"Go away, Blaine," he said, his voice stiff, dry. Blaine wanted to cry.

"I'm not going away… I've missed you…"

"Yeah, well… good for you.."

Blaine bit his lip and gently grabbed Kurt's hand. Kurt looked at him, his eyes slightly wide. Blaine looked into those beautiful blue eyes. Though they were so dead, so lost… he found himself falling back in love with the boy in front of him. "Please… just talk to me…" he said softly, desperately. Kurt stared back at him, before sighing and nodding.

"Fine."

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><p>Kurt wouldn't take Blaine to his apartment. Kurt wouldn't say why, but Blaine didn't pry. He had gotten his chance and he wasn't going to go mess it up. Blaine took him back to his hotel room. Kurt looked around uncomfortably, like the building was far too fancy and he was far too unworthy.<p>

Blaine motioned for him to sit on the couch and asked him if he wanted anything to drink. Kurt shook his head as he sat down carefully on the couch. Blaine sat down beside him.

"Kurt… what happened to you?" He didn't mean to be so abrupt… he wanted to build up to it, but it had just come out. Kurt looked down, his expression broken.

"Blaine…" he whimpered. Blaine cupped his chin and forced him to look up. Kurt's eyes watered. Blaine's heart sank. He pulled Kurt into his arms and hugged him tightly. Kurt hugged him back tightly, burying his face in Blaine's shoulder.

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><p>"And that's when Ryan got mean… He started yelling and hitting and… I guess I just stopped fighting…" Kurt said softly, looking away, like letting Blaine see the weakling he truly was would make him realize how much of his time he was wasting.<p>

It had been a couple hours of Kurt explaining his story, from the moment they had broken up to when the Kurt Blaine had once known had died. Blaine wanted to cry more than anything, but he knew he had to stay strong. He pulled Kurt's hand, which had been in his since they had released each other from their embrace, to his lips. Kurt didn't react.

"So you start dating this guy and he gets mean because you wouldn't put out?" he asked, about ready to find this Ryan guy and beat the living shit out of him.

"It wasn't just that, Blaine… I didn't put out, because it didn't feel right. None of it felt right… the only time I ever felt right was when I was with you…" he explained in a whisper. He looked up and sighed. "Blaine… I'm like a walking corpse… for the past few months I've just been… looking for a way out."

That was when the tears hit Blaine's eyes and they fell fast and hard. The man he was in love with had basically just told him he wanted to die. He shook his head as Kurt watched him.

"No, no, NO. Kurt Hummel, listen to me. You are the most… incredible person in the world and you… you can't talk about things like that. Do you know what that would do to your friends? To your father?" he asked, before taking a deep breath. "To me…"

Kurt looked into his eyes. "You didn't want me, Blaine…"

"I always wanted you. I love you, Kurt."

He kissed Kurt then. He kissed him softly, gently. Kurt froze. Blaine didn't remove his lips. He wouldn't unless Kurt pushed him off. But then… Kurt started to kiss back, lightly at first, but then more passionately as Blaine deepened the kiss.

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><p>They moved to the bedroom, their lips never leaving the others. They both had missed the feel of their lips against each other's, the gentle touches, the soft whimpers of pleasure.<p>

Clothes were removed quickly, urgently. Blaine kissed all over Kurt's body. His skin was paler than he remembered, and he could see the outline of his ribs. The image made Blaine want to cry again.

They made love. It was slow, passionate, and terrifying in every way. Terrifying because Blaine would be leaving the city soon, and he didn't know what the future had in store for him. Kurt was terrified for other reasons.

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><p>Blaine held Kurt close, stroking his hair gently. Kurt stared at the wall, his once blank stare showing a small sign of life.<p>

"Marry me…" Blaine whispered. He didn't care how crazy he sounded. He wanted Kurt to be his again, wanted to have the life with him they had always dreamed of. He looked down at Kurt for his response.

Kurt didn't respond. He waited until Blaine was asleep, then he gathered his clothes together and left.

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><p>Blaine left New York, broken. When he woke up, Kurt was gone. No note, no nothing. The only reminder that anything happened was Blaine's memory of what happened and even that seemed to be too much like a dream.<p>

And after many attempts to find him, he came up empty. It was like his encounter with Kurt had never even happened.

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><p>Three months later, Blaine got a call as he was walking out of a meeting. He didn't recognize the number, except for the fact that it was an Ohio area code. "Hello?" he answered.<p>

"Blaine?" It was Burt Hummel, Blaine would recognize that voice anywhere.

"Mr. Hummel?" he asked. Burt sighed sadly. Blaine bit his lip. "What is it?"

"Kurt's dead, son."

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><p>He had been sick. He had been sick and he didn't even mention it to Blaine. He had some terminal illness with a name that Blaine couldn't pronounce. He had spilled everything… everything except that.<p>

Blaine was surprised at the lack of guests to Kurt's funeral. His family was there, obviously, along with the original members of New Directions. They nodded to him, and Finn clapped him on the shoulder.

He stood strong through the service. He stared at the picture of him they had… it was such a beautiful picture. He was younger and he looked so alive… It was a picture Blaine had taken.

It was when they were lowering the casket into the ground that Blaine broke down. Tears fell from his eyes faster and harder than ever before. He wanted to jump in and open the casket, hoping he was still alive. But it wasn't going to happen.

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><p>He had just gotten to his car when Burt came up to him. His eyes were red and his cheeks were tear stained. Blaine had never seen Burt Hummel like that.<p>

"Didn't think I'd ever have to bury my wife and my son.." he muttered. Blaine just stared at him. Burt sighed and scratched the back of his head, before looking Blaine in the eyes. "He loved you, Blaine. He loved you more than anything. And while it might not seem like it… he had a happy ending, because he knew that you loved him."

Blaine just cried and nodded. "Thank you, sir." He couldn't say anything more. Burt pulled Blaine into a tight hug, which Blaine returned. Once the embrace ended, they nodded to each other and went their separate ways.

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><p>Blaine went back to Kurt's grave a few hours later. He stared down at it and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.<p>

"Oh simple thing… where have you gone…" he muttered, before looking up at the sky.

He closed his eyes, feeling the wind whip gently around him. He thought back on the life he had shared with Kurt. It had been amazing… down to the very end.

He looked around and pulled a single red rose out from his jacket. He kneeled down and threw the rose into the grave, tears falling once again as he did. "We'll be together again, Kurt… somewhere only we know.." he whispered.

He stood, took one last look. Kurt Hummel. Beloved Son. Amazing Soul.

The only person Blaine Anderson would ever love.


	2. Alternate Ending

**Okay, so due to a lot of people asking for it, I have decided to write the alternate ending to this story. I wasn't originally going to, but I decided to. I warn you though; it's only going to be a fraction happier. So you will probably end up needing tissues.**

_**This is going to pick up the morning after Kurt and Blaine made love, except Kurt never got up and left. There is still a character death warning.**_

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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><p>When Blaine woke up the next morning, Kurt was staring up at him. Blaine smiled at him softly and stroked his hair back. "Good morning…" he whispered, pressing a kiss to Kurt's forehead.<p>

"I'm sick, Blaine…" Kurt whispered. Blaine barely heard it, even in the silence of the room.

"What do you mean?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowing.

"That's why I can't marry you… I'm dying, Blaine. I have what killed my mom… I'm withering away and there isn't anything anyone can do about it," Kurt responded, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

"No… No, Kurt, there's always hope. We can make you better, I can get you help," Blaine said, his tone becoming frantic. Kurt sat up slightly and cupped Blaine's face gently.

"No, Blaine. There is nothing anyone can do. There is nothing anyone can do… It's terminal…"

Tears started flowing from Blaine's eyes at a rapid pace. He buried his face in Kurt's chest. "No, Kurt, no…" he whispered, repeating it over and over. It felt like his entire world was crashing down. He just got Kurt back… He couldn't lose him again.

Kurt hugged him tightly, sliding his fingers through Blaine's curls. "Blaine, I was going to leave. I was going to leave when you were sleeping… I didn't want to tell you. But I couldn't leave. My whole life… Everything has come back to you and… I _need _you. I just need you with me… until the end…" he explained softly. Blaine sat up and cupped Kurt's face. He leaned in until their lips met in a soft kiss.

"I love you, Kurt. I love you so much. I've always loved you," he whispered. Kurt smiled sadly, tears now sliding down his face to match Kurt's.

"I know."

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><p>Kurt moved in with Blaine. He didn't really have belongings, so Blaine game him clothes to wear until they could go shopping. Kurt hadn't wanted Blaine to spend any money on him, saying that buying him nice clothes was really just a waste of time, but he gave in when the words Marc Jacobs came up.<p>

Blaine spent as much time as he could making Kurt feel loved and cherished. Kurt had been hurt, hurt badly, and Blaine wanted to make up for any of the time they lost.

He relearned Kurt's body easily. On the days where Kurt felt stronger, Blaine would stay home and they would pass the hours in bed, making love, whispering about old times. Blaine would worship Kurt, pressing soft, feather-light kisses all over his body. Kurt would make soft appreciative noises and smile.

Blaine had always been his happy place.

"You're perfect, Kurt," Blaine would whisper. Kurt would shake his head, insisting that he was far from perfect. Blaine would move up and kiss his lips. "You are the most perfect man I have ever seen… Don't even think for a moment that you're not, Kurt Hummel."

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><p>There were days when it was really bad. Blaine would wake up to Kurt getting sick or having seizures. Blaine didn't know what to do at first. But as these episodes became more frequent, he learned.<p>

He would always make sure there were washcloths and buckets waiting for if Kurt got sick. And when he had a seizure, he'd time them, making sure they didn't last too long. And once they were over, he'd get Kurt into a comfortable position, give him some water, and hold him until he'd fully wake up.

Kurt was embarrassed at first. He didn't like Blaine seeing him like this. He never wanted Blaine to ever see him like this. But then Blaine would whisper about how perfect he was and he would refute it, only to have Blaine tell him otherwise once again.

"Blaine, I don't deserve you… I never did," he whispered one night, nuzzling his face into Blaine's neck.

"Kurt, I never deserved _you_," Blaine whispered, pressing a kiss to his head.

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><p>Kurt was getting worse, to the point where he could barely walk. He asked Blaine to take him to Ohio. Blaine dropped everything and did just that. He would do anything for Kurt.<p>

They stayed with Burt and Carole. Burt was happy to have his son back, even if there was a chance it wouldn't be for much longer. Blaine tapped into his trust fund to help pay for any and all of Kurt's medical care.

They were laying in Kurt's bed one night, huddled closely. Blaine had just told him about how he was paying for his medical bills. Kurt hadn't argued. He was too tired to. He just wanted Blaine to hold him.

"I want you to have something," Kurt whispered, before sliding over and reaching into the bedside table drawer. He pulled out a small ring box and turned back over to look at Blaine. "This was my mother's. She gave it to me before she died. I want you to have it." Kurt opened the box to reveal a beautiful white gold band with beautiful diamond engraved into it. In the first light, it looked blue, but then when the box tilted, the stone looked green. It was just like Kurt's eyes.

Blaine smiled and took the ring from the box, looking at it closer, examining it. "It's so beautiful, Kurt."

"Will you take it?" Kurt asked. Blaine looked over at him and smiled.

"Of course. I'll keep it forever. I promise," he said.

"I know it won't fit, but I have a chain…" Kurt trailed off, before leaning back over towards the bedside table. He pulled a simple silver chain from the drawer and unclasped it. Blaine slid the ring onto it and then Kurt clasped it around Blaine's neck. Blaine touched it gently and teared up.

"Thank you," Blaine whispered. They kissed softly for a moment, then pressed their foreheads together, just holding each other.

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><p>The very last night, Blaine had asked Kurt if he wanted to be taken to the hospital. He wouldn't do it. Blaine wasn't going to force him. Kurt knew what was coming.<p>

He said his goodbyes to every separately. Blaine stood outside his room, waiting, fighting off the tears unsuccessfully. Kurt was with Burt the longest so far. He knew how hard this was for them.

When Burt finally walked out of Kurt's room, he was crying harder than Blaine had ever seen him cry. Burt pulled Blaine into a tight hug.

"Thank you so much for coming back into his life…" Burt whispered. Blaine started crying harder.

"It's no problem, sir," he said. Burt let go of him and pat his shoulder.

"He wants you," he said. Blaine nodded. Burt ushered everyone that was still upstairs downstairs. Blaine took a deep breath and wiped his eyes, before walking into the bedroom.

It had been six months. That's all. The doctors told Blaine that it was a shock he'd lived that long. They said that Blaine had, in a lot of ways, made Kurt better, kept him alive longer.

But it was six months too soon. Blaine wanted more time. Blaine wanted all the time in the world.

Kurt smiled up at him from the bed. His eyes were red and teary. Blaine started shaking as he walked over to the bed. He laid down beside Kurt and held him tightly, kissing everywhere he could reach and whispering "I love you" over and over.

"I love you, too…" Kurt whispered, closing his eyes.

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><p>A week later, Blaine sits in his car, staring at the white roses in his hand. He can't get himself to move. He hasn't wanted to move since Kurt passed, but…<p>

"I can do this…" Blaine whispered to himself, before getting out of the car. He smoothed his suit, and took a deep breath, before walking to the spot where Kurt was being buried. Right next to his mother.

The ceremony went by smoothly. The whole of New Directions showed up, as well as some of Kurt's old teachers and a few Warblers. All people Blaine recognized. He hadn't pried into Kurt's after high school life, but he felt that Kurt wouldn't have wanted any of those people there anyways.

Burt spoke, Carole spoke, Finn spoke, and several of Kurt's friends spoke as well. But when it came to Blaine. He just couldn't. Not then. Not in front of all of them. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Burt just clapped him on the shoulder and allowed him to slink back. They understood how hard it was.

But they honestly didn't know the half of it.

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><p>Blaine watched as they lowered the casket. Everyone was going back to the Hummel's for the reception. Burt hugged Blaine before he left and told him how he would always consider him a son. Blaine smiled and hugged him back just as tightly.<p>

He didn't leave with the others. He couldn't. Blaine felt like he had to stay there for a little bit longer.

He looked around, noticing that everyone was gone, before sitting down on the grass beside Kurt's grave. He let out a shaky breath.

"I'm sorry I didn't say anything, Kurt… I just couldn't… I wanted to say something, but everything I have to say, I couldn't say in front of them. Well, I could, but… I didn't want them to hear it. You changed my life so much Kurt Hummel. I love you more than I've ever loved anything."

Blaine reached behind his neck and unclasped the chain, catching the ring in his hand. He slid the chain out from it and held it up, as if showing it to Kurt. "I had it fitted. And while I know you said you wouldn't marry me because you were dying… I understand that, but Kurt… You're it for me. So I'm going to wear this ring…" Blaine slid the ring onto his left ring finger, "To symbolize us. Maybe someday I will marry someone, but they will have to respect the fact that this is never coming off. You were my world, my everything, and yeah, you were taken from me now, but this isn't forever. So I'm not going to say goodbye. I didn't say goodbye to you the night you died and I'm not going to say it now. I'm going to say see you later, because someday we'll be together again. I love you."

Blaine stood and brushed off his pants, staring down into the grave, tears now flowing freely. He kissed his fingers and waved, taking one last look before turning and walking back to his car.

They would be together again, somewhere only they knew.

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><p><em>Yeah, so I'm sitting here crying. This turned out a lot longer than intended, especially since I hadn't intended on writing it. Anyways, I hope everyone found some joy in it. It's happier than the original ending in basically every aspect, except for Kurt dying. I can promise you one thing though, I am never writing a fic like this again. Reviews would be lovely and that's all.<em>


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